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Monday, February 27, 2017

Gossip Gnaw

We were driving for about an hour and decided to stop for lunch. The place was crowded. Ourgroupcouldn'tseat together. We split. I sat down with my friend's daughter. My friend joined her husband and their youngest daughter.

As we were enjoying the food, I overheard the conversation. A few people were discussing the last church service. At first, they were talking about some trivial things. Suddenly their conversation shifted. They started talking about personal problems of an individual who wasn't there. It wasn't long before they were slandering the person.
I wish I could leave, but there was a friend's child, sitting in front of me. I was in a hurry to finish the meal. Suddenly, the woman who was slandering the other person turned towards me.
"Are you a part of an African church?" Her question sounded as if she were in the middle of a conversation. I was taken aback by it.
"No," I turn to my friend's daughter, trying to let the person know that I am not willing to engage in a conversation and to show her that I was with somebody who needed my attention. Unfortunately, that didn't stop the woman.
She started bombarding me with questions. The Lord gave me that opportunity to talk about how true worship should be focused on the Lord and how the Bible is the main focus for every Christian. The conversation was going well until she asked me a question that was inappropriate. At this point, I was totally flabbergasted.
If my close friends asked me what that person asked, I might have responded. However, I didn't know the person. I have met her a few years ago: I and my friend were visiting the church. At that point, I was a part of a choir.
That person remembered seeing me on stage. We never talked in person.
I fell silent. My friend's daughter got up and started talking to that person. My friend joined shortly. The situation was saved. We left the place.
This situation helped me to remember some things.

Don't talk about personal things out in public.

We all now the details of a situation which is not for the rest of people to hear. Sometimes we find ourselves in a situation where we need to involve others for the resolution. We need to discuss the details but don't do it in public.You never know who is around. Who can hear you talking and  I don't discuss private things out in public: it's not appropriate.
If there is something I need to discuss some private matter with a friend, we usually go to each other homes or stay in a car.

If you hear someone slandering another person, that individual will slander you.

When someone comes to you and starts talking about anther person, be careful. Next time that person will go to someone else, but you'll be the subject of the talk. Gossipers use prayer requests as a way to find out the information. You don't need to share your personal struggles with everybody at church. Unfortunately, the church became a breeding ground of gossiping. 

Do you really have to know all the details

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There are cases where someone's safety is in jeopardy. In this case, you have to report the situation to the appropriate authorities. In some cases, we want to know the details out of curiosity. Personal things are personal things.

Guard your tongue

What we say can have a long lasting effect. Sometimes what we intend to say may not come out the way we mean: non-verbal cues are important. The same phrase said in a various intonation can carry a different meaning.
We all had times when we said something without thinking. Our tongue can heal and kill. We want to express our thoughts, but we need to be careful.
A time to keep silence, and a time to speak--Ecclesiastes 3:7



  1. 'Church became a breeding ground for gossiping'.This is the very reason why many people can not share what they feel and not feel close to other members.

    One of my close friend attending one cathoric church told me that it's so difficult to share personal matters with other members.It often makes her feel lonely, especially when she is in trials.

    Surely we do'nt need to open everything to all members.
    But if both of us belong to Jesus,stay in Him,we should not slander each other.I heard that in some church,sharing testimonies each other has become more difficult-because they often contains very personal experience.

    I may have to thank God for giving me friends who can share my testimony with.And I respect those who share their testimony and experience with others for His glory.
    Irina,thanks for sharing your faith journey with us.God be with you.


    1. Dear Sanae,

      Thank you for the comment It's interesting to see that the issues are the same across the planet.